Hot cocoa by the fireplace, decorating the tree, gift exchanges, and Christmas carolling. All the smells, sounds, and tastes of the holiday are accompanied with so many emotions. I love this time of year, the warmth of family is a beautiful contrast to the cold of winter (well “cool” for us floridians). As you gather with family and friends that live near and far, good conversations are had and many memories are made, but as conversations and family lifestyle habits begin to collide, perhaps your family and friends begin to notice some distinct lifestyle differences your family may have with other relatives. As a holistic health enthusiast, many contrasts become obvious, quickly. From food choices, to cosmetics and toiletries, to medical decisions, my family shops, eats, and treats healthcare wildly different than both my relatives, and my husbands.

These comfy gatherings often lead me to awkward situations, like my grandmother feeding my diary-free one-year old daughter ice cream. Perhaps my mom mentions something about my homemade diaper rash cream, or my grandmother rants about how everyone should have the flu vaccine when I know my children are not vaccinated. Maybe it is in your use of herbs and essential oils instead of generic medicine, or it’s the gluten-free, diary-free, no sugar added dessert I brought to the gathering. Whatever the reason is, my holistic lifestyle is showing, it’s like a scarlet letter, it doesn’t go unnoticed and is usually not understood and even poked fun at. My mom always chimes in with her, “You will come full circle, I had a natural living streak in my day.”

But how, I ask myself. How can I know everything that I know, and make consciously hazardous lifestyle decisions. I just can’t. I’ve seen studies about the harmful effects of diary, the hazardous chemicals in traditional soaps, and lotions. I know the side effects of over-the-counter medicine, and conversely I have found more benefit for the health of my family in not using traditional medicine. Maybe you are in the same boat as me, you are convinced that your healthy lifestyle is worth being different and facing adversity that may arise in family gatherings. The question is, how do we navigate these gatherings, anticipating that there will be questions and even concerns about your lifestyle choices.

Smile & Wave

Don’t actually just smile and wave, that might come off as rude, BUT realize that other people, that you probably don’t want to take advice from, will chime in with advice and opinions. It reminds me of a lecture by Dr. McDougall, calling out other “nutrition experts.” The first part of his lecture was simply arguing the credibility of other nutrition experts by their own health and appearance. He says, why take nutrition advice from someone who is fat? I think of this similarly with holistic living. Why take lifestyle tips from people with unhealthy habits? Remember this as your grandmother blabs on about all her pain and health problems while shoveling banana pudding into her mouth.

It’s Okay To Be Different

First of all, you are not alone. Over the years I have befriended many people who are like-minded on this holistic living journey. Family friends that I can count on for tips, fellowship, and encouragement. For me, when I get around family, my health journey feels more isolated. I have to remind myself of the friends I have that are on the same journey with the same desires for holistic health. For one of my fiends and I, this comes in the form of sending funny holistic health memes to each other.

Secondly, let’s be honest, healthy is not normal in our country. 73% of the US population is overweight. If being healthy means being a minority, count me in. That is some adversity I am willing to endure. I see the fruit of this in the health of my children (and my own health). My children have never had anything more than a cold. My son and daughter have not been on antibiotics (other than an anti-fungal for thrush when we were traveling… but that’s another story). This is rare today. We are an overmedicated, unhealthy, fat country as a whole. Don’t believe me? Here’s the facts: Our leading cause of death is heart disease and our third leading cause of death is medical error, as proposed by a John Hopkins study. ¹

Know Your Stuff, But Don’t Be a Know-It-All

When people show concern, especially with more controversial decisions like vaccines or traditional medicine, you want to know your stuff. Honestly, if you don’t know why you are making importance life changing decisions, you need to learn more, read more, study more. Read a good book on nutrition, do some research on medicine or vaccines. Know ingredients in both food and medicine and how they affect the body. Have a valid reason for what you believe and the choices you make so that when people ask you can be confident, sound educated, and also not feel like you are having to defend yourself, but rather explain yourself. The reality is, a lot of people just don’t know, but you might spark there interest if you are kind and educated about your decisions.

Walk It Like I Talk It

Minutes ago, my coworker told me “you are honestly the healthiest person I know,” as I was heating up my lunch of taco style beans and corn, with whole wheat pita and guacamole. I didn’t “try” and pack a healthy lunch, it was just my lunch. When we shift our mind-set from “dieting” or “restricting” to lifestyle changes, our actions align with our words and knowledge. From searching to non-toxic household products, to the use of herbs and super foods, to DIY cleaning, to whole-food cooking, the more I learn, the more my actions shift to more holistic living. When people see that the way you live aligns with what you are talking about, and then see the consequences (usually positive, like healthy kids or weight loss) of living that way, it begins to get gears turning, and you will experience less resistance.

When gathering with your family this Christmas, don’t be ashamed of your lifestyle decisions, just be fun with it. Bring a delicious dish that everyone can enjoy, while staying true to what you believe about health and wellness. This season I made an eggnog pie for one gathering - everyone loved it!

Tatiana Schmidt - Holistic Nutritionist

Tatiana Schmidt is a certified Holistic Nutritionist and mama to AJ, a 3 year old boy and Baylin, a 1 year old girl. She has a passion for health, nutrition, and delicious food. You can find her work in the Sprigs Magazine, on the Sprigs Blog, and at tatianaschmidt.com.